Clarice Assad

“O”

At the beginning of the 2020 Covid 19 pandemic, violinist Johnny Gandelsman approached several composers to collaborate on a commissioning project. There were no limits imposed to our creative process, though he made a critical remark: “I would like composers to reflect on the moment we are living now.” — It was quite a suffocating moment. And so I fixated my attention on what seemed to be a recurring theme, the crucial character of several dramas that would ensue through the year that ironically left so many breathless: Oxygen.

O, the symbol representation of one of the most abundant elements in the universe without which we die, is the inspiration for this piece. As we withdrew from the social arena, we watched in horror a newly discovered virus take down thousands of people from acute respiratory failure every day. Some succumbed from complications of the disease, others for lack of respirators. Preventive measures required the whole of humanity to wear masks, to protect each other from an infection that could spread through the air. Soon after, another tragedy. This time, oxygen would take center stage and be violently obstructed, by force, from entering the lungs in George Floyd’s body, whose last words, “I can't breathe,” echoed through the four corners of the world, causing pain, anger, outrage. The air was thick with doubt and fear.

Confined in an apartment without working windows in the middle of the winter, I could not help but feel a sense of entrapment in my own body. Bouts of anxiety attacks plagued me, and it was challenging to work or concentrate. But thinking about the miracle of life while not taking the gift of breathing for granted, singing was the way out of despair. For processed vocal overdubs and solo violin, “O” is a recollection of that fragmented time, undoubtedly filled with sentiments of distress. But it too, portrays a sense of hope.

“O” was generously commissioned by San Francisco Performances (San Francisco, CA)